If I won the lottery I'd have a room of my own in a big house that i'd convert to look like the bridge of the Enterprise. It would probably just be a lot a iPhones glued to tables (but stylishly so) and one massive iPad for a view screen. Thinking about it that's not the best idea because you'd need a stepladder to reach to the top of it and a small army of redshirts to swipe the screen across (and one of them would somehow get injured). Tell you one thing though, my bridge would have a clearly marked toilet in there.
(Seriously not once did you once see anyone taking a restroom break in Star Trek. Or a toilet. Wouldn't it be great to just once, see someone in there with a copy of Klingon Wives just as the ship gets hit by a photon torpedo, and they get flung clear off the seat?)
One of my current favourite bits of tech is the V+ box (otherwise known as Sky+ for cool people). It's a Godsend when changing the boys nappy, as he can watch the programmes he likes instead of taking a rather opposing attitude to clean underwear. But I've recently been feeling like it's starting to get the better of me.
We record stuff on there all the time. All the things we don't normally have time to watch and want to save it for a different day (i.e when Masterchef isn't on) or things that look interesting but clash with our more popular viewing (i.e. Masterchef) We also record for the boy as aforementioned decoy tactics. So at the moment we have a number of films and programmes, punctuated with episodes of Special Agent Oso & Imagination Movers. I haven't watched any of the things I've meant to.
It's not because I haven't got time, in the evening if we look and there's nothing on I don't turn to the stored intellectual goodness, I'm watching the Simpsons (which I'm also recording just in case). And there are things on there that demand to be watched by title alone.
There was a programme called "Werner Herzog eats his shoe". The title alone demands viewing. This is a man who was baptised in a bowl of crazy and I will refer to bullet points for some of the highlights:
- He made people drag a massive boat over a mountain for one of his films.
- He threatened to shoot his leading actor in front of the crew.
- He was actually shot during an interview.
Why haven't I watched this yet? Why hasn't everyone watched this yet?
He eats a fucking shoe!
I'm sure I'll get round to it this weekend. Unless Masterchef is on....
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